From the Inside, Looking Out

Much has to do with perspective.  When I was writing about His Real Presence as the Most Holy Trinity--Father, Son, and Holy Spirit--in the fullness of Mass, it seemed so obvious.  However, one must know that the Word of God, the Word Incarnate, is very much a part of the Trinity and thus central to the Mass and our lives, as we become incarnate beings upon conception.

Once we comprehend the Son, remaining in His Love, and grasp the Word of God expressed in the sacerdotal prayers of Jesus with the Father, as well as the resurrection and ascension Scriptures leading us to the Holy Spirit (the Paraclete), we open into the Trinity.

Sometimes it seems obvious, from comprehending from the inside out, but it is not obvious to others...not yet.  But surely now it is.  We may be able to grasp how easy it is to fragment Jesus, to diminish His Real Presence when we do not elevate our bodies, minds, hearts and spirits to the fullness of the Mass, all the Sacraments, as evidenced in each of the Three Persons of the Most Holy Trinity.  St. John of Avila writes of this in sermons.

Teresa of Avila developed intimate friendship with the Blessed Trinity, as do all the saints, to my knowledge and that of various scholars and writers of the mystical life who elucidate the understanding that comes in love, in balance, of each Person as One: Triune God.  "Now she [St. Teresa] realizes the full truth of the promise made by Our Lord, 'If any man love me, He wil keep my word and the Father will love him and We will come and make Our abode in him'  (Jn 14, 23.) 

St. Teresa herself writes:

"...by means of an intellectual vision, in which by representation of the truth in a particular way, the Most Blessed Trinity reveals itself in all three Persons.  First of all the spirit becomes enkindled and illumined as it were by a cloud of the greatest brightness.  It sees these three Persons individually, and yet by a wonderful kind of knowledge that is given to it, the soul realizes that most certainly and truly these three Persons are one substance and one Power and one Knowledge and One God Alone, so that what we hold by faith the soul may be said to grasp by sight, although nothing is seen by the eyes, either of the body or of the soul, for it is no imaginary vision.  Here All Three Persons Communicate Themselves to the soul and speak to the soul and explain to it those  words which the Gospel attributes to the Lord, namely that He and the Father and the Holy Ghost will come to dwell with the soul which loves Him and Keeps His Commandments" (Interior Castle, VII, ch. VII, p. 331).

 This comes in stages and phases and not all at once.  It is not the same for everyone but yet again, it is the same.  The nuances vary; the message is constant.  For me, from the inside looking out, it is that in our time we are somewhat out of balance.  Some emphasize the Living Word and a personal relationship with Jesus; they may be called Protestants and Evangelicals.  Some emphasize the Holy Spirit; they may be called charismatics and pentecostals. Catholics may fall into either or other categories.  How many go to Mass late and leave early, saying at least they received Jesus?  What about the Catholic charismatic renewal and those who meet to evoke the charisms?

From the inside looking out during Mass, this is what I have learned and know:  We must elevate our love and devotion of His Real Presence as realized in all the Holy Sacraments in which the Holy Trinity is in All and All in One, although distinct Persons as well.  All Sacraments are within the Mass; His Real Presence is the Holy Trinity as Each are One and Abide One with Another--and desire us to abide in Him and in Them, as One Body.  We must not fragment any One Person of the Trinity, nor emphasize one over the other, no matter how tempting this may be due to trends in society and ecclesial groups, even in the Church.

I may not be expressing this well, but understand that it is a heartfelt attempt to share what has come during the ecstasies, although the purity of them is actually rather gross at times, filtered with concerns of the intellect which resides with the will in the center of the soul. But as St. Teresa expresses, the spirit is beyond the soul, or deeper, in some way difficult to express, yet encompasses the soul.

Regardless, His Real Presence has chosen for this soul, for now to continue in this imperfect state during Mass, as ecstasy is only part of spiritual betrothal and is not spiritual matrimony.  But it is teaching this soul much about its weaknesses as well as giving the soul much to pray about and to learn of others, of His Real Presence as the Holy Trinity in each Person and as One, and the desire of His Real Presence to draw each of our souls individually and as part of the Body, to Himself forever.

God bless His Real Presence in you!  All peace on earth!

The Anointing You Receive

Let what you heard from the beginning 

remain in you.
If what you heard from the beginning 

remains in you,
then you will remain in the Son and in the Father.
And this is the promise that he made us: 

eternal life.
I write you these things about those who would deceive you.
As for you,
the anointing that you received from him 

remains in you,
so that you do not need anyone to teach you.
But his anointing teaches you about everything and is true and not false;
just as it taught you, remain in him.

[from First Letter of John, Chapter 2]

The Trinity Remains a Trinity

From a letter by St. Athanasius:

    Even when the Word takes a body from Mary, the Trinity remains a Trinity, with neither increase nor decrease. It is for ever perfect. In the Trinity we acknowledge one Godhead, and thus one God, the Father of the Word, is proclaimed in the Church.

All Peace on Earth

All peace on earth!  All PEACE on EARTH!

So much has occurred, but the bulk is not to be shared--not that it is wrong to share, but that it would take long to write and many might not find it helpful.  But much has also been accomplished in a freeing nature, of releasing the soul from that which was hindering at a temporal level.

For one thing, finally an abbey phone call brought consultation by its recent abbot, who said the direction I was receiving was wrong.  The reason for the phone call was total upheaval in the spiritual life: chaos, upset, despair and darkness.  If anyone experiences such, and one's spiritual director does not respond or help, St. Ignatius writes well on the topic of discernment of spirits in his Exercises.  Otherwise, or additionally, confer with someone on equal or better experiential status as one's spiritual director if the director is not available or responding, and if the condition continues.  Well, this is what happened, and the remedy for this soul, at least.  And what a blessing!

Back to Mass, and also there was additional information gathering on the state, the ecstasies, during Mass.  This research resulted in better assurance that it has nothing to do with trance states.  The retired abbot had said as much, as well as a noted doctor familiar with the paranormal, but even though some said they were not bothered by it, they still could not grasp, understand, or be at peace with the occurrence.  Naturally, this causes the person experiencing such, unnecessary stress.

So all peace on earth; all PEACE on EARTH!  All peace in the soul!  His Real Presence chose what He wills during Mass.  Then a book stood out in the mind, one attained a few months ago, edited by Fr. Gabriel and Fr. Thomas, Discalced Carmelite priests.  This book contains essays written by various experts on the writings of St. Teresa of Avila and cover the spiritual life as she illuminated the phases and experiences.  This is most helpful as a reminder; we always benefit by the spiritual wisdom of great mystics and by re-reading in different formats and books in different phases of our lives.  Yes, we might have read the works earlier, but to read again, filtered through others' writings, can be of great benefit, cyclically, on the journey.

The hermit life is discerned as definite.  The suffering is discerned, but it is not necessary to focus on being a victim soul or not.  It is best to love, to learn to love, and to learn to love to suffer, for while on earth we shall know earthly pain.

All peace on earth!  All PEACE on EARTH!  God bless His Real Presence in all souls!  His Real Presence, the Most Holy Trinity, creates all souls!  What a beautiful essay in the above mentioned book, expresses friendship with and in the Holy Trinity!  This is life and love in His Real Presence.  Enjoy.

Thomas, Fr. and Fr. Gabriel, O.D.C. 1963. St. Teresa of Avila: Studies in her life, doctrine and times. Westminster: The Newman Press.

A Little Thought About Misery

I have been pondering many things, among them the novel by Stephen King, titled Misery.  In it, the fiction writer Paul Sheldon is held captive by a possessive Annie Wilkes, a deranged fan of Sheldon's fiction.  In the end, Sheldon realizes in order to live, he must make one final attempt; Annie comes to a height of rage, and he fights her for his life.

Sheldon succeeds.  Later, maimed by the ordeal, his literary agent asks him if he would be willing to write a non-fiction, detailing the horror he endured some two years prior.  His agent knew it would be a best-seller; the public wants to know such details of misery.

Sometimes it seems I should write of that which would be nearly unbelievable.  Those close to me say it is unbelievable if they were not here, seeing it occur, unfold, in the sheer horror of that it truly is.  At times I think I should struggle out.  But I am out, in actuality, in reality other than the attachment that is mine alone, deep within.  That deep within is what must be severed, for all else has been taken away.  Someday perhaps I will write about what actually has occurred, from start to finish, the persecution: misery.

Later: I have noticed, often truly, that persons or groups of persons who are persecuted often end up persecuting others.  Sometimes it is the very groups of persons who they feel persecuted.  This came up when I noticed someone belonging to a group who has been persecuted by Christians--some of them--put up an image of a sacrilegious nativity.  It is a good reminder, a great lesson.

To have the heart so wounded, one would think or hope that all the anger and bitterness would have been bled out.  Blessed are they who are persecuted.  Did Jesus say so they could turn around and persecute others?  It would also seem that for anyone who has suffered in the heart, deeply enough, that there would never be a desire to ever persecute others, no matter what.

The types of persecution of which I am thinking and write, are not the niggling little things, such as people disagreeing in minor ways over details, thoughts, opinions.  The persecution in mind, is that which wounds the heart (emotions and mind) and comes from deep exclusions, judgments, and swathing assumptions--even physical injury--that literally affect the daily lives of those persecuted.

Questions on the Most Holy Trinity

A reader has asked some very good questions.  They may seem basic to some, but the more I pondered and began to suggest some reference materials to read for more precise answers, the more I realized the questioner and questions are a gift from the Divine Persons (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) encouraging me to study once again and more in depth.  The spiritual life is like a spiraling double helix, and we grow intertwined and spiraling in a direction with increased awareness and understanding.  This comes from graces at a spiritual level which can in practical means include outstanding writings to read and ponder.

The questions from the reader are as follows: Are you saying that you can approach the Trinity without Jesus? Is not Jesus our portal to the Trinity? How do you conceive of the Trinity? When you pray, who/what are you with?

The initial answer: Perhaps I will write more in depth on this topic, although my other readers understand the Trinity, so it might be redundant for them. If you have a Catechism of the Catholic Church or could borrow one from a parish, please read about the Trinity in sections 232-256 (approx.). You will find that Jesus is the Second Person of the Holy Trinity; the Father is the First Person, and the Holy Spirit is the Third Person. However, they are Three in One. All three Persons would be considered portals of prayer and interaction, yet each have more distinct functions. I can't say that any of the Persons are portals "to the Trinity," for they ARE the Trinity. 

Another good resource that is fairly complete and detailed is Msgr. Adolphe Tanquerey's The Spiritual Life: A Treatise on Ascetical and Mystical Theology. Tan publishes a paperbound copy, but online you may be able to purchase a used hardbound. The Blessed Trinity (Three Divine Persons) is detailed in sections 90-101. Specifically, when we pray, we are within the Trinity, which by grace draws us in by varying degrees dependent upon the state of our souls in any given moment. We are in prayer within the Three Divine Persons of the One Trinity: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. While brief, I hope this helps. I highly recommend the other reading, though. Every now and then I re-read from books I have here, as I feel it helps me always to keep learning. I really like Garrigou-Lagrange's writings. He has a couple volumes just on the Holy Trinity. There's much out there to read by proven theologians and makes learning more about the Faith a joy for us. 

Then, considering that yes, most of the readers with whom I am in contact privately do understand the Most Holy Trinity, some may not.  Indeed, suddenly I realized that His Real Presence is graciously offering me an opportunity here, to pick up again in another level and phase of life a renewed study of the Trinity.  Recently I've been reading the homilies of St. John of Avila, recently proclaimed Doctor of the Church, on the topic of the Holy Ghost.  But this morning I turn to the hermitage library room and pluck off the shelves, Pere Garrigou-Lagrange's The Trinity and God the Creator:  A Commentary on St. Thomas' Theological Summa, Ia, q. 27-119.

I will continue ancillary reading in books on the Holy Spirit, since personally in my own Protestant faith earlier years provided mostly learning about Jesus and God the Father.  I thank the questioner, for this is providing me with the next foci of personal learning and growth as well as perhaps some assistance to readers who may not have easy access to some of the books or time for studying the topic.  I will share, hopefully, simply and warmly, as between personable seekers of God, rather than in a scholarly tone.  I personally prefer personable!

These few words from The Catechism of the Catholic Church (while there is much more others may read on their own), are what I will ponder this morning while doing some hermitage tasks:

"The Faith of all Christians rests on the Trinity;" and, "The whole history of salvation is identical with the history of the way and the means by which the one true God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, reveals himself to men 'and reconciles and unites with himself those who turn away from sin.'"  [232; 234]

Go Gently

The second week of passing unnoticed commenced with thoughts of a Dylan Thomas poem.  While the line go gently into this dark night passed through the mind, in fact the first and repeated line in the poem is Do not go gently into this good night.  Thomas wrote the poem at his dying father's bedside.  He wanted his father to fight death.

But this death to self--one greater than any prior--despite its moments of resentment, confusion and anger, for the main has been filled with great peace if not gentle passing.  With the one good arm thrown into the air, the heart can say in the frustrating moments to God:  You alone know what it all is.  You alone can make it so that what seems unthinkable that has happened, could all change.

Only one arm thrown up in the air?  The other is still mending from shoulder surgery.  But it is mending, mercifully and gratefully yet very, very slowly.  The surgeon says to be more cognizant of pain level and stop using it when the pain increases; do not let the pain get out of control.  There are some things we ought to notice.

Dreams continue.  One was nightmarish and had to do with the question of if one is ridding and being rid of desire to be noticed, would one write to be read?  Is anonymity in the authorship enough?  One would think not, since assuming there are readers of what one writes, there is a sense or degree of being noticed, at least anticipated.  Another dream was instructive in remaining away from a place of notice.  Even at night, my heart counsels me (Ps. 16).

The Carthusians publish with the simple A Carthusian.  But the writer knows his writings are likely read and read by many. Does this prove the writer has a desire to be noticed?  Only God and the writer would know; and it is most likely that only God would truly know--that Seeker and Knower of hearts.

Yes, a few fingers of people have reacted to what I've shared in emails--good friends--who display their own lurking desires to be noticed.  Yes, it is so, that the only real way to know if one has a desire to be noticed, is to be able to cease going places where one is noticed.  An additional step is to cease doing that which would bring notice, even if the ones noticing do not know the noticed.  Effects of the person can be noticed.  A parent, particularly involved mothers, can feed an imperceived desire to be noticed by living through the note and notice of her children.  Some people justify--rationalize--their activities as using their gifts, assuming no one else could do what they are doing and thus taking spots that otherwise other people could participate and fill just as well, better, or less well.  It is mostly a need for notice that goes unrecognized unless even for a day, the positions are relinquished.

For a couple hours, a week ago, thoughts turned to how it would be if those who suggested the desire to be noticed would actually stop their own desire to be noticed.  Well, what indeed would that be, and could they even see to do it?  But of course, it is not their crucifixion, is it?  No, it is mine.  It is my call to uproot and expose any lurking taproot and ancillary roots desiring to be noticed.  Not everyone has the full opportunity to do this, to have already had much pulled up and tossed away.

The spot on the handicap pew is already replaced, no doubt, by some person either greatly overweight--unable to kneel or stand at "appropriate" times--or handicapped by some other means.

It is true that sooner than later, we shall all pass unnoticed, never more to be noticed on the face of this earth.  The effort continues here, silently, softly, sensibly, to go gently into this dark night.  As long as there is not the resentment or doubt, the death is filled with trust and faith and peace.

His Real Presence took me to Mass the other night in the quiet darkness of anonymity in some other realm more real than this reality.  There I received His Real Presence in the Sacrament of Eucharist and yet the ecstasy within the ecstasy of the real dream dimension.  God bless His Real Presence in all souls!  Go gently into this dark night.  His Real Presence in the present moment silently beckons.