So much has occurred, but the bulk is not to be shared--not that it is wrong to share, but that it would take long to write and many might not find it helpful. But much has also been accomplished in a freeing nature, of releasing the soul from that which was hindering at a temporal level.
For one thing, finally an abbey phone call brought consultation by its recent abbot, who said the direction I was receiving was wrong. The reason for the phone call was total upheaval in the spiritual life: chaos, upset, despair and darkness. If anyone experiences such, and one's spiritual director does not respond or help, St. Ignatius writes well on the topic of discernment of spirits in his Exercises. Otherwise, or additionally, confer with someone on equal or better experiential status as one's spiritual director if the director is not available or responding, and if the condition continues. Well, this is what happened, and the remedy for this soul, at least. And what a blessing!
Back to Mass, and also there was additional information gathering on the state, the ecstasies, during Mass. This research resulted in better assurance that it has nothing to do with trance states. The retired abbot had said as much, as well as a noted doctor familiar with the paranormal, but even though some said they were not bothered by it, they still could not grasp, understand, or be at peace with the occurrence. Naturally, this causes the person experiencing such, unnecessary stress.
The hermit life is discerned as definite. The suffering is discerned, but it is not necessary to focus on being a victim soul or not. It is best to love, to learn to love, and to learn to love to suffer, for while on earth we shall know earthly pain.
All peace on earth! All PEACE on EARTH! God bless His Real Presence in all souls! His Real Presence, the Most Holy Trinity, creates all souls! What a beautiful essay in the above mentioned book, expresses friendship with and in the Holy Trinity! This is life and love in His Real Presence. Enjoy.
Thomas, Fr. and Fr. Gabriel, O.D.C. 1963. St. Teresa of Avila: Studies in her life, doctrine and times. Westminster: The Newman Press.