Sunday, August 19, 2012

Dreams and Prayers

The Lord has shown me all the more the hermit, but most definitely is asked me why I'd want the shown complexity and temporal complications in the offing, rather than Him directly? In the dream and upon waking, there was no quibbling from deep in my soul:  I want Him directly. All the other held no sway whatsoever.

A prayer is, for all of us, to know God's will and how He wills to utilize us.  In this time period of additional suffering, physically, but unjustly from another, there is a question as to if one should not speak or write truth, if others might be offended by the truth.  I ponder if Jesus was passive and did not speak the truth even though others might--and did--take offense.  Yet there is the point that is good, to not speak rashly, only from anger that is not righteous indignation.

The prayer request of His Real Presence, on a personal level within my soul, is if He desires me to write and speak the truth of what has transpired, or if He wills that I remain plucked out and to write of Him and to do what I can in the solitude of His Real Presence--in small physical actions of gardening and hermitage maintenance, provided the right shoulder will stop flaring seriously with pain whenever manual labor is attempted. It does take, then, a couple months of therapy to get the shoulder to simmer down, in addition to prednisone, and the previous time, an injection in the shoulder--only to have it flare all the more, quickly, with some manual labor.

I know I would personally prefer to be removed from the temporal issues that go on and on without seeming end, and do not lead the soul in any manner to the spiritual, at least not effectively nor directly.  The temporal Catholic crud exists, and if writing and challenging by explaining and revealing would help people to desire the spiritual more, that would be a good thing. But I doubt it would challenge or inspire any more than in prior efforts and events.  In reading a well-researched and non-embellished bio of John of the Cross, I am reminded yet again of the mystic's plight as well as the usual, eventual outcome of removal to one degree or another, from the temporal effects of power, prestige and position--all harbingers of much pride and prohibition to the depths, breadths and heights of the spiritual assent.  He realized he would have to escape death by figuring out a means of escape, and the stories of a dog leading him out, or other such "miracles", simply are not true. But escape he did, and saved his life from those entrenched in the temporal Catholic malaise, although those ensnared do not realize they are not free from nets that hold them within a certain space--not only physically sometimes, but definitely mental and emotional, sometimes willful, ensnarement.

Once John of the Cross escaped, he found his most precious times and teaching to be when in nature and removed from the temporal Catholic exigencies, the nets that are perhaps helpful in their structure up to a certain point, but can become limiting if the view remains of earth and not of heaven, not of the spiritual.

What impresses me in reading the writings and lives of mystics of the past, of Catholic mystics in particular, is their point of debarkation from the temporal Catholic confines, that world so alluring and helpful for a season or more, but with some aspects that go sour, that become tainted with the politicizing and the prevaricating of people of all vocations, who may not seek more than, or even seek less than, what His Real Presence desires in our spiritual progression. In that way, it can become a snare rather than a pathway or channel to the deep waters of spiritual growth.

These mystics do not write of the temporal Catholic crud of the day or the decade. Little to nothing is mentioned of parishes or politics.  At times some is mentioned of the trials and obstacles meted out by others, insecure, threatened, or envious of the mystic's love and desire for union with God.  But mostly the writings are of God and the process and progress in seeking and finding His Real Presence.

To write and speak truth of the process, of the temporal limitations in my own reality and experience, or to keep on in exile, writing of God in Himself and quietly communing in the solitude and silence?  I have been highly encouraged to do the writing of the journey and of the redemption in exile; but it is rather a painful write--as the mind and emotions do not even want to be reminded in any way, of what transpired of the temporal aspects, over the years.

God will answer the prayers, though.  He will decide what He wills.  In the meantime, an answer certainly came with the surge in shoulder pain, so debilitating and limiting.  It may prove to be quite a life-altering suffering.  Only time will tell, unless some miraculous healing comes to the shoulder.

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