Another intense week at the hospital and now am out of commission. Relative not out of woods yet, but very receptive to prayer as two adult daughters and I knelt around her bed, placing hands on her. In a nearby town, the patient's elderly mother knelt in prayer at designated time. I prayed, remaining in Christ's love and repeated three times, Jesus, I trust in You. Each person, including the patient, prayed, and we concluded with the Lord's Prayer.
I felt my work was done. After another horrendous surgery and waiting longer than we expected, the surgeon explained the details, and I headed home. A sore throat began to plague, and by the next morning knew my physical presence ceased for awhile. I picked up a virus from the hospital.
It is amazing to have a first illness other than the chronic pain, and to experience the peace of living in Christ in the present moment, remaining in His love. I could resent people who visit hospitals, ill themselves, subjecting patients, staff and other visitors to illness. But there is no resentment for if the thought presents itself, I remain in His love! I was in a lounge in which a woman visitor was hacking, and I'd been around a relative who brought a child with bad cough to the hospital. I simply accepted staying home in bed, after a trip to the doctor to make sure it was not strep, and I pray for humanity to be sensitive to the needs of others.
"Ruth" has emailed a response to the healing that is going on in her heart, emotional wounds, and I found her perspective beautiful.
As for healing, I expect for a broken heart, I have been healing quickly. It took a good two to three weeks of suffering through, what I like to call, divine surgery. It was longer than I would have liked, but with all the various facts being thrown at me, painful memories, and I am sure that hormones did not help, surgery took as long as it had to.
You are right when you say that these healings free us. I haven't been this joyful and free since I was a child. I know my husband loves it. I guess a happy wife really does make a happy family.
I know that I have to undergo some more surgery soon, as more things have been brought to my attention. But in a weird way I am looking forward to it. At least these issues didn't cut as deep as the first ones and there is something to be said about a God who loves you enough to wants to clean out and stitch up your heart.
I know that I have to undergo some more surgery soon, as more things have been brought to my attention. But in a weird way I am looking forward to it. At least these issues didn't cut as deep as the first ones and there is something to be said about a God who loves you enough to wants to clean out and stitch up your heart.
"aspiring" left on a comment, the prayer of Bl. Charles de Foucauld, martyred on Dec. 1, 1916, a hermit living in the Sahara of Algeria, being Christ to natives of nearby village. The prayer reminds me of a Methodist minister who converted years ago. I met him when a teen, as he and his family were neighbors. He had become a nationally known columnist for the Catholic press, and in his final illness, a priest friend had mailed him this prayer. I was not yet Catholic, but his daughter gave me the prayer after his death, typed on a small piece of paper. It has been on my refrigerator for 18 years. Am touched that "aspiring" brings the prayer to our attention.
The Prayer of Abandonment of Brother Charles of Jesus by Charles de Foucauld
"Father, I abandon myself into Your hands;
do with me what You will.
Whatever You do I thank You.
I am ready for all, I accept all.
Let only Your will be done in me,
as in all Your creatures,
I ask no more than this, my Lord.
Into Your hands I commend my soul;
I offer it to You, O Lord,
with all the love of my heart,
for I love You, my God, and so need to give myself--
to surrender myself into Your hands,
without reserve and with total confidence,
for You are my Father."
"Father, I abandon myself into Your hands;
do with me what You will.
Whatever You do I thank You.
I am ready for all, I accept all.
Let only Your will be done in me,
as in all Your creatures,
I ask no more than this, my Lord.
Into Your hands I commend my soul;
I offer it to You, O Lord,
with all the love of my heart,
for I love You, my God, and so need to give myself--
to surrender myself into Your hands,
without reserve and with total confidence,
for You are my Father."
I was sitting in the dark cold outdoors just now looking at the new snow on the ground and in trees illuminated by street and porch lights, in a chair in what I've come lovingly to call my spot - a spot in which I tend to become open and empty and quiet inside, and in which our Lord seems to see fit to avail Himself of my attention. Remaining in His Love came to mind. Just that. But then much more started coming. And so now, here I am :) .
ReplyDeleteRemaining in His Love. It can be likened to an immersion. He overcomes us and overcomes our limitations, and we become drenched breached saturated bathed penetrated permeated steeped infused imbued transformed, through and through, with His Divine Love. His Love enables and empowers us to love others. Sometimes we are mere channels for His love directly to them. In any event, while we are in His Love He loves through us, through our faculties. The distinct advantage being that He is all-knowing as it relates to meeting needs. Unlike us. It's as wonderful to be aware of His Love for me as it is being aware of His love happening through me on behalf of others. We can't love without Him.
I just recalled a quote I put at the top of my blog that is quite fitting here. I came across it earlier today while posting missing writings.
"It is God's work that has done it, not my work. I am like a pencil in His hand. The pencil has only to be used." Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Also this, nothing, before I close. That you've had the prayer of Charles de Foucauld on your refrigerator to see for eighteen years is one of those things that, when I read it, jarred my whole interior with His knowing and His way of delightfully surprising me when I think nothing could surprise me anymore.
And to Ruth - Maybe I understand, maybe very clearly :) , and I'm very moved by your account of things. Affirmed, too, in some ways.
God bless you, nothing. You, too, Ruth. Good night.
Dear brothers and sisters,
ReplyDeletethis sunday I would like to share a few lines from Thomas Mertons " Book of hours" I prayed this morning with tears in my eyes:
"... Father I praise you, with all these my brothers and sisters,
and they give voice to my own heart and to my own silence.
We are all one silence, and a diversity of voices.
You have made us together.
you have made us many,
you have placed me here in the midst as withness,
as awareness, and as joy.
Here I am.
In me the world is present, an You are present.
I am a link in the chain of light and of presence."
May the fire of tenderness warm you up and lightfull joy guide you ... specialy you dear Ruth and Nothing and his "Relative" in the hospital ...
your silent hermit brother
Seraphim
from Germany