It is all of the present moment, and the spiritual director outstanding, a gift from His Real Presence, the Holy Trinity, to my soul. This one is the peak of what any soul could desire and came per his own volition, desiring, as he said, to be the "earthly guardian" of my soul. For anyone reading, God does provide sooner or later, who and what we need according to His Knowing.
There has been anger at times, my having to wait across the street in a parking lot for a friend after Mass, who brings His Real Presence in the Eucharist to me to receive, sometimes under the cover of darkness. Last Saturday evening while waiting, the amazing question of how God would allow this rather bizarre situation to continue--as I stood watching the inner-lit Cathedral and hundreds of people within. And there was I, on the outside, not allowed to be at Mass, not having done anything other than experienced for over three years a mystical state that came unbidden, each and every Mass.
Yes, it is amazing, how His Real Presence can become jealous of our love being out of balance, perhaps--too much love for the temporal reflections of His Real Presence, of His Church, as it were. How could I have ever realized the imbalance other than His removing me? As a daughter remarked (and we did laugh in that same amazement of awe in how God allows what humans would consider the unthinkable) that this surely is the first time this prelate had to direct someone to not go to Mass.
So much emphasis and devotion came previously from this soul for the Eucharist, to now as it sees, was the diminution in comparison, of His Real Presence in all the Sacraments, very much so His Living Word that comes from the very Mouth of God. To even "see" the Trinity--His Real Presence--when in thought and adoration before the Tabernacle or when was allowed to be in Mass and prior to the mystical state occurring, takes a training of perspective and admittance of a truth that lay hidden from this soul's conscious recognition.
Now it is to sign notes and emails to family and friends: God bless His Real Presence in you. At the conclusion of receiving His Real Presence in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, to speak to the confessor, my director: God bless His Real Presence in you! To kiss his ring and speak the words, to receive His Real Presence in the Eucharist which he brings after confession, and to know with the newness of some great revelation to this soul, finally, now in these present moments, that this is His Real Presence now, the Holy Trinity, as they are One, as the Second Person describes in various descriptions in the Gospel of John chapters 13-17.
The practice of remaining in His Real Presence's Love, as remaining in His Real Presence which is the Three Persons of the Trinity, continues daily and nightly. No longer must there be fragmentation of Jesus, separating Him out and separating out His Real Presence in one Sacrament, but to know and recognize always, now, His Real Presence in fullness and unity, as One is not without the Other of the Three Persons, the Holy Trinity, in all the Sacraments--not any intended to be less beloved than any others, and to present one's soul always, now and forever, in greatest reverence and love to each Sacrament and to each soul filled with His Real Presence.
Consider a spouse approaching the other spouse with the reverence with which one approaches His Real Presence in the Eucharist. Consider a soul approaching in person or thought, His Real Presence--the Trinity--in any of the Sacraments, listening to and pondering His Living Word, with the same devotion, respect, attention and love with which one approaches reception of His Real Presence in the Eucharist.
The world of souls in the Church would then be elevating the love and devotion and recognition of the Trinity, His Real Presence interlocking One with the One with the One. The love and devotion to His Real Presence in the Eucharist would not be diminished but also heightened; and most noticeably the love and devotion of His Real Presence would be elevated in kind, in the Sacraments of the Word, Penance, Healing, Baptism, Confirmation, Marriage and Holy Orders, as lived in the totality of Mass.
Being removed from attending Mass, under obedience to my spiritual director, has taught me much, as God would have it! For one thing, His Real Presence is coming to the level of understanding that allows a participative love and devotion without fragmenting or diminishing any Person of the Trinity or Sacraments or souls but rather of elevating all as whole and fully Divine.
One morning, upon awakening, the soul was told: You are in the Mass and the Mass is in you. This consolation was repeated several times, and it is true enough, and will be when all mortals at temporal death will not be going to our parishes for Mass and we see, if not now or beforehand, that in His Real Presence is in the Holy Trinity, mystically intertwined as the Vine to the branches and the branches to the Vine. We will live His Real Presence in the present moment for all eternity, the interlocking of what in our temporal lives was the temporal and mystical melding in the Mass as becoming the interlocking in our mystical lives, an eternal Mass in which His Real Presence is present in each moment in souls.