Saturday, October 16, 2010

Patience with Watering

Am praying for patience.  Need patience with the watering process here, both in the gardens and within the soul.  Anytime even forecasts of thunderstorms accompanied by stormy skies, yields no rain.  Am comprehending the reports of God's ability to withdraw watering the earth, such as we read in the Old Testament and of which St. Neophytos wrote of late 12th century Cyprus.  So have the soaker hoses going again.  Water pressure seems low, though. Thankful for conveniences.

The interior thirst is the main issue here.  Am tempted to some type of human interaction, such as to offer a Bible study out of the home.  Would consider a book discussion but tried that four years ago.  Six of us to begin with.  After first meeting, one dropped out.  Books too difficult (matter of opinion, naturally). Then after three months, one of the husbands still would not read the books, not even the 100 page-plus, simplified book on St. Francis de Sales, edited down by Sophia Institute Press.  Yet he loved to pipe into the discussion.  

He is brother to a priest, and although he admitted he did not like to read, although retired and had the time, he now is nearing ordination as a deacon.  His wife had difficulty understanding some of the reading, to which the other couple became discouraged, while I tried to explain.  She was the director of Diocese Spiritual Development Office.  

After the sixth monthly meeting, we folded.  It was frustrating to try to explain to the Director, and the other couple who was doing the reading and rather frustrated, bailed out.  I opted to call it a good but unsuccessful try. 

With these recollections bubbling to the surface, my idea of attempting a Bible study is sinking into reality.  Perhaps I'd better stick to solitary study of Jesus and spiritual life, prayer, and also to writing.  Have some patience, for pity's sake.

I now have two more weeks of freedom to read and write, as the current spiritual director's appointment has been twice more postponed due to his busy schedule.  Somehow I wonder if it will occur, if God wills this alliance.  Patience will bring the answer, for patient endurance attaineth to all things, St. Teresa of Jesus wrote in her lovely, wise, prayerful advice.

Let nothing disturb thee,
Nothing affright thee;
All things are passing:
God never changeth.
Patient endurance attaineth to all things;
Who God possesseth in nothing is wanting:
Alone God sufficeth.

Oh, yes.  Had been mulling over going to Mass, coming and going as I do more or less like a ghost, experiencing the Mass in the blissful state...and then, for human interaction and discussion to find a nearby Protestant church and join an adult Sunday School class.  

However, I also recall the last time I attended such, sixteen years ago, and that deep within what I knew of Scripture did not jive with what the United Brethren theology profs concluded.  God already had plucked me for His Holy Catholic Church.  So, with that recollection, this morning, I realize there is no point in scheming any such attempt in that direction.  

I will continue here, drawing close to Christ in the present moment such as He wills it for now, and will keep reading about Him, praying, and writing.  Soon it will be time to drive into the Cathedral for noon Mass.  Next to read today's Office.

Just documenting how the temptations might wriggle into thoughts when the mind and body begin feeling the pinch of what is unfolding when one lives whatever nuances of the path in which the Lord calls us, each present moment.  

Also kindly chuckle upon the inclusion of our one "official" member of the Order of the Present Moment, "Adel."  She does realize, for I e-mailed and explained, that the OPM is, as a spiritual order, not like a traditional religious order that one joins per se.  

Only by private assent of the heart to Christ, is this a spiritual order venture of living omnia pro Deo, perhaps at root solus Deus, in Christ in the present moment, seeking to find and climb the Stairway to Heaven.

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